An Odd News Day

These stories have something in common, but I, a semi-literate engineer, can’t figure out what exactly it is.

1.  Barack Obama’s favorite union, the SEIU, has a grievance with an aspiring Eagle Scout in Allentown, PA:

In pursuit of an Eagle Scout badge, Kevin Anderson, 17, has toiled for more than 200 hours hours over several weeks to clear a walking path in an east Allentown park.

Little did the do-gooder know that his altruistic act would put him in the cross hairs of the city’s largest municipal union.

Apparently, no good deed goes unpunished. 

Nick Balzano, president of the local Service Employees International Union, told Allentown City Council Tuesday that the union is considering filing a grievance against the city for allowing Anderson to clear a 1,000-foot walking and biking path at Kimmets Lock Park.

“We’ll be looking into the Cub Scout or Boy Scout who did the trails,” Balzano told the council.

That almost sounds like a threat.  If you  wonder if any SEIU members have kids who are Boy Scouts.

Balzano said Saturday he isn’t targeting Boy Scouts. But given the city’s decision in July to lay off 39 SEIU members, Balzano said “there’s to be no volunteers.” No one except union members may pick up a hoe or shovel, plant a flower or clear a walking path.

“We would hope that the well-intentioned efforts of an Eagle Scout candidate would not be challenged by the union,” said Mayor Ed Pawlowski in an e-mail Friday. “This young man is performing a great service to the community. His efforts should be recognized as such.”

Balzano said Saturday the union is still looking into the matter and might cut the city a break.

“We are probably going to let this one go,” Balzano said .

Gee, thanks, Nick.  I’m glad you say it’s OK that this Boy Scout, whose merit badges you are not worthy to shine, can get away with what he did just this once.

I hope that anyone who lives in Allentown and reads this will pick up some gardening tool and do something that Nick Balzano thinks is a union job.  Allentown will be better off.

2.  Sometimes, when you are babysitting your little sisters, something happens that calls for drastic measures.  We might call this a reverse Goldilocks story.

Driggs Boy Shoots Bear on Front Porch

An 11-year-old boy killed a bear at point-blank range last Wednesday night after it wouldn’t leave his family’s porch.

The boy was at his home near Driggs with his younger sisters and after seeing the bear on the front porch and not being able to get it to leave, the boy retrieved a gun and killed the animal.

The family declined to comment and wished to remain anonymous.

Judging from the comments at the bottom of this article, this is wise.  There are plenty of people who think that a)  an 11-year-old should never baby sit, b) an 11-year old should never touch a gun, c) no one should ever use a gun, d) really, 11-year-old boys should learn more peaceful pursuits like needlepoint, and e) there are more boys than bears, so it would be better if the bears ate boys rather than boys shooting bears.  Anonymity is a good thing.

Fish and Game Conservation Officer Doug Petersen said the black bear had been a problem in the area near the county transfer station, and he and Fish and Game Officer Lauren Wednt had set up a trap earlier in the week.

“The bear had been hanging around and we got multiple complaint calls,” said Wendt. The bear had been getting into garbage cans and bird feeders in the area.

Petersen said officials may have had to put it down anyway. He said that in situations where the bear has been a problem around humans or threatens human safety, they usually don’t issue citations.

“Human safety is a higher priority,” said Petersen. “We’re concerned with how bears are managed and we want to live in harmony with them.”

The boy and his family are not in any trouble, and Petersen said he issued them a permit to keep the bear.

Cool.  Now he can bring a bear rug to show and tell.  I’m sure the 5th grade girls will be impressed.  As for the rest of the bear, it can have a special place.  Right next to the mashed potatoes.

3.  “Pimp of the Year” presents “Employee of the Year” award

James O’Keefe definitely deserves the award for “Pimp of the Year”.  (This is a reference to the mostly forgotten movie “I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka”), even though he was only pretending to be a pimp.  Here is a link where he finds one semi-honest ACORN employee who will not help him with his plan to smuggle underage illegal alien girls into the USA to work for him (and “Madame” Hannah Giles) as prostitutes.

ACORN Employee of the Year

Although Mr. Felix D. Harris of Los Angeles ACORN told us he didn’t care about our prostitution business in regards to a housing loan, he drew the line when we spoke about the underage girls.  Although he did not kick us out, he was the only employee in our nationwide ACORN child prostitution investigation who would not assist us.

For his leadership, superior ethics, unwavering integrity, compassion for young women, and for serving as a shining beacon of inspiration for his fellow ACORN employees, I am honored to present Felix Harris, program director at ACORN Housing, with the humble award of ACORN EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR.

Remember, this employee is the cream of the ACORN crop.  Other examples of the behavior that has led ACORN to near-ruin are on the biggovernment.com website.

What’s Happening in Honduras

Imagine it is the summer of 2016, and President Obama is acting strangely.  (If you can’t imagine President Obama acting strangely, insert “President Cheney”, or even “President Limbaugh” here, so that you get the appropriate sense of the willies.)  Suddenly he decided that the whole idea of term limits was not good.   He decided to hold a referendum to allow himself to serve additional terms in office, had the ballots printed by his buddy Hugo Chavez in Venezuela, and ordered the Army to distribute the ballots (they refused).  His attorney general, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and many members of his own party told him that he could not amend the Constitution by that method, but he ignored them.  

After this, the Congress voted to impeach him, but he refused to go.  He tried to replace the top military leaders, but Congress re-instated them.  Finally, the Army stepped in, removed him from the White House, and sent him on a plane to Canada.  The Army then installed Joe Biden as President, and returned to their normal role.  President Biden took over, appointed a Vice President according to the rules of the Constitution, and assured the country that the next election would be held on schedule.  

That is roughly what has been happening in Honduras over the last few months. 

When you hear about what is happening in Honduras, it is described as a military coup, but that is not an accurate portrayal.  The Honduran military did not act alone in removing Manuel Zelaya.  They were acting under orders from the Honduran Supreme Court, who had ruled that Manuel Zelaya was acting unconstitutionally and should be arrested.  His removal from office was confirmed by the National Congress, which is dominated by members of his own party.

Also, the Honduran military is not running the country.  Leadership of the country was given to Roberto Micheletti, who was previously the President of the National Congress.  (This is roughly equivalent to our Speaker of the House.)  He is the person who was, according to the Honduran constitution, next in line if something happened to the President.  Their Vice President, Elvin Santos, had resigned to run for President. 

Many countries, including Cuba, Brazil, Venezuela, and our own government, are calling for the restoration of Manuel Zelaya.  They are ignoring that the next election is already set for November 29, and Mr. Zelaya was constitutionally forbidden from running for office again.  If he had behaved himself, he would be retiring soon anyhow.  The people who are running for President now were already campaigning to replace him before he was overthrown. 

They are also ignoring the fact that the Honduran government was faced with a serious problem.  A democratically elected leader was trying to violate his country’s constitution and become a dictator.  (Hugo Chavez knows something about this.)  The Honduran government stood up to him and removed him from office in the best way they could, and mostly followed their constitution.  (The military’s only failure to follow their constitution was that they let Mr. Zelaya leave the country, rather than force him to be stand trial in Honduras.)

 We should not be interfering in Honduras’  internal affairs, and pressuring them to take back a potential dictator.   We should especially be suspicious that the potential dictator’s best friends in the region are Hugo Chavez and Raoul Castro.

A Few Questions about Climate Change

“Climate Change” appears to be the reason for panic this year, at least until we find out that Iran has nuclear weapons.  Some people even think you should limit the number of kids you have so that you reduce your carbon footprint and don’t contribute as much to “man-made climate change.”  (I suspect most of these people don’t much like kids anyhow.)

For those inclined to panic, here are some questions:

1.  What temperature should the planet be?  Should it be warmer than it is now, cooler than it is now, or should it remain just the same as it is now?  Explain your answer.

2.  The planet has been both much warmer than it is now (think Jurassic Park), and much cooler than it is now (think Ice Age).  Neither of these conditions had anyting to do with humanity.  Was it good or bad for the planet to be at these differing temperatures?  Please explain why or why not.

3.  If nature will not maintain a “good” temperature for the planet, but rather keeps changing the temperature, then why is it bad for man to change the temperature of the planet?  Again, explain why, and in your answer explain coherently whether or not you consider man to be part of nature, or somehow independent of nature.

Discuss.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a Quick Review)

There are many aspects of Pride and Prejudice that do not make sense to the modern American reader, especially if you happen to be a guy.  However, Seth Grahame-Smith, in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, has recovered the missing parts of the story for us, adding in what the censors (and Jane Austen’s sense of delicacy) took out.

When you read the original story, you must remember that the British have always been masters of understatement.  For example, a Victorian critique of Queen Cleopatra was that “her home life was so unlike that of our dear Queen.”  Therefore, the fact that the British Isles were infested with “unmentionables” was, in fact, unmentionable.

You also need to remember that in 1808, when the events described in Pride and Prejudice weres happening, there was a war on, and the censors did not want to let on that something terrible was happening in the British Isles.  It would have given unnecessary encouragement to Napoleon Bonaparte.  And so one of Jane Austen’s books was apparently significantly altered in the name of national security.

Most of Pride and Prejudice is in the book, word for word, but there is additional information that makes sense of the story.  Without spoiling the story too much, I can tell you that the following questions, which make no sense in the original novel, are answered:

Why is Netherfield empty? 

 [Since the answer is on the first page, I can tell you that "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.  Never was this truth more plain than during the recent attacks at Netherfield Park, in which a household of eighteen was slaughtered and consumed by a horde of the living dead."]

Why does Mr. Bennett apparently have no interest in finding husbands for his daughters?  Does he not care about them, or does he have other more pressing concerns?

Why are the soldiers really stationed in Meryton, anyhow?

And why is Elizabeth particularly concerned when Jane falls ill at Netherfield?

Why would Charlotte Lucas, a lady with apparent good sense, accept a marriage proposal from Mr. Collins?

What is the real reason that Mr. Darcy prides himself on separating Jane Bennett from Mr. Bingley? 

Why does Lady Catherine de Bourgh keep inviting Mr. and Mrs. Collins over for tea, even though Mr. Collins is a dull sort and they were both so far beneath her station?

Why did Mr. Gardner have to take a shorter vacation than planned, and therefore visit Pemberly?  What line of work is he in anyhow?

Why do Jane and Mr. Bingley decide not to settle at Netherfield?

While most of Seth Grahame-Smith’s reconstruction of the original story seems plausible, he also makes a few blunders. He seems at times to mistake muskets for repeating rifles, implying that Miss Bennett could shoot multiple zombies at close quarters with her musket.  Muskets require manual reloading, and are therefore good for only one shot, except against the very slowest zombies.  Then it is time to get out another weapon, like a big Samurai sword.

He also reports some scandalous things about Mrs. Gardner that could not possibly be true.

Finally, Elizabeth Bennett seems, in addition to having some anger management issues, to be a bit theologically confused.  When she kills zombies, she thinks she is sending them to hell.  It is well known that when you kill an undead creature, it goes on to the afterlife that it earned before it became undead.  Even Count Dracula himself had a look of peace on his face when the stake went through his heart.  Perhaps Elizabeth can be forgiven this confusion, since preaching at this period of British history was particularly bad, as evidenced by the fact that Mr. Collins had a job.

While there are some Jane Austen purists who will be aghast upon opening this book, or even upon looking at the cover, they will find, once they open it, that it is far from the worst adaption of Jane Austen that has been introduced.  I mean, which is worse:  inserting zombies into the story of Pride and Prejudice, or trying to make Keira Knightley into Elizabeth Bennett?

Growing My Own Food (Zucchini-Copia, Part II)

The garden continues to grow well, and today was harvest day again.

The kids want to enter one of our zucchini into the “giant zucchini” contest at one of the local fairs.  We will have to pick a promising candidate a week or two before fair time and let it grow.  I credit the highly organic fertilizer for the outstanding growth of this crop.

The total harvest was:

30 pounds of Golden Zucchini and yellow squash.  It would be more, but Mom and Aunt Donna raided my garden.  Also with the wet weather the bees weren’t operating at full efficiency.  We managed to give away most of the excess from last week. 

Another nice head of cabbage.  Jane reports that our cabbages are bigger and prettier than what you see at Wegmans’s.  Usually home grown produce is not that pretty.

3 pounds of  peas

3 nice cucumbers.  My kids can eat an infinite amount of cucumbers with hummus.  Yeah, my kids are weird.  They eat almost all their vegetables without complaining.  Even broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, and spinach.

About a pound of carrots.

7 or so pounds of yellow beans.

Some “mild jalapenos.”  

Now, if we could just shoot the deer and rabbits that get into the garden, we wouldn’t have to do any shopping at all…

A Zucchini-Copia

I have gotten into gardening in a big way this year.  My mom, who lives down in Waterford, has 3 gardens, and I have taken one of them over.   The garden is about 60 x 100 feet (that’s 18 x 30 meters for my international readers) and it has peas, carrots, corn, tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, cabbage, summer squash, golden zucchini, and 3 varieties of winter squash.

This week the garden has reallly started to produce.  In fact, we don’t have to buy any vegetables for the whole week.

Here is a picture of most of our harvest today:

 

The total harvest was:

34 pounds of Golden Zucchini and yellow squash (note to self: plant half as much summer squash next year).  We might have that much next week too.

10 pounds (2 nice heads) of cabbage.  The cabbage seems to like the cool, wet summer, and it is absolutely beautiful.

7 pounds of edible pod peas

4 nice cucumbers

enough carrots for tonight’s soup

more spinach than my kids can eat

A family size serving (defined by the size of our family) of yellow beans.

I have no doubt that we’ll be able to eat everything, except for the zucchini.  I have threatened my kids with zucchini pancakes, and they are not totally sure that I’m joking.

A Strange Little Crime

Yesterday morning, I walked out to my car and I found some books and notebooks stacked neatly next to my mailbox.  It was raining, and I was a bit upset to find that the books on the curb were for the class I am teaching.  They are usually kept in a backpack in my car.

So I looked in my car, and the backpack was gone. But strangely, my faculty ID was sitting on the back seat of my car.

Someone had broken into my car, grabbed my backpack, carefully taken out all the educational materials from it, politely pulled my faculty ID out and left it where I could see it, and then stole my beat up old backpack, with some pens, dry erase markers, and cheap scientific calculator.

[Yes, I will admit right here that I didn't lock my car at night.  I secretly hope someone will steal the whole care, because I need to replace it anyhow.  Yes, it is true that by not locking my car I don't have the right to complain much about getting stuff stolen from it.]

This is a very odd sort of thief.  I wonder what Nancy Drew would conclude about this situation?  I did call the police, just on the theory that maybe there was more similar crime in the neighborhood, and I might give them some clues.  I don’t expect anything back.

I gave a test yesterday, and one thought that shot through my head was that someone was looking for my testing so they could get the answers.  After all, it looks like they went through my stuff with care.  However, I have now graded the tests, and I can definitely rule out that idea.

My best guess is that someone was looting cars, and they saw the backpack, and thought, “How Providential! A backpack to store all my stolen loot in.”   Then they lifted it and found it heavy with books (not a thief’s favorite sort of loot), and so they removed the contents and left them in a pile.

A Rebuke to Erie Republicans

My wife and I were bad citizens.  We didn’t vote in the most recent primary in Erie. My daughter also didn’t bother to vote for her first time.

Of course, as Republicans, we didn’t have much choice in the primary.  The only contested race was for County Executive, and that race was not as colorful as the Democratic race.  (It didn’t have as much colorful language either.) 

Also, the Republican Party has only been able to come up with one candidate who is willing to run for City Council.  Tim Butler seems like a fine fellow, but why the heck should he have to run alone?  “Two are better than one, and a three-fold cord is not quickly broken” and all that. 

I would have offered myself as a write-in candidate, but I have two jobs already and my wife and children would file a missing person’s report if I took another job.

It’s hard to blame Republicans for not wanting to run for City Council.   Erie is overwhelmingly Democratic, and too many voters here won’t even think of crossing party lines.  If Satan, Judas Iscariot, Benedict Arnold and Buzz Andrezeski could establish residency in Erie and get nominated on the Democratic ticket for the Erie City Council, they would easily be elected over any Republican candidates, because this city is so overwhelmingly Democratic.  (OK, I might be exaggerating about Buzz.)

But it just doesn’t seem right that we let the city be ruled by Democrats, forever, without even putting up a fight.  It is important for the city that elections be competitive, because when one party is in power unchallenged, the result will be corruption and laziness.  If the Democrats knew that they could lose an election if they screwed up too badly, they would be a better party.  Right now, Republicans don’t even get to present any ideas about how the city should be governed.  We just sit back and whine.

How can this trend be reversed?  I think the answer comes in two parts.

The first point is, that for the foreseeable future, we need candidates who don’t care too much whether they win or lose.  Their goal will be to run, to present their ideas to the voters, and to govern well if some miracle happens and they are elected.  They should also care about making the job a little easier for the next person who runs. 

It seems that the best candidates to do this job would young idealists and recent retirees.  Gregg Harris, in his lectures on “The Seasons of Life,” suggests that the 4th season is the “Season of Protection.”  In this stage of life, a person has met his own needs, and may “retire” in a way that focuses on the needs of others.  Political leadership is an appropriate venue for that.

Secondly, since running for office in Erie is probably a losing proposition for a while, it is important to reduce the sacrifice of time in running for office to a manageable amount. 

When the party fails to recruit a full team to run for City Council, Republican voters in Erie should write in candidates during the primary.  It takes 250 write-in votes to get a spot on the ballot, so, by doing a small amount of grass roots organizing, we could ensure a full slate of candidates.

The candidates who got in by write in would not have to gather petition signatures in February to get on the primary ballot in May, and then have a long campaign until November.  They could know that they were running in May, spend the summer fund-raising and getting ready, and then campaign in a short burst from Labor Day to Election Day in November.  The time cost of running would be reduced, and the candidates would have more time to talk about ideas.

One other benefit would be the Republican party leaders would get a good kick in the pants.  If Republican voters write in their favorite business or community leader, teacher, banker, pastor, auto mechanic, or blogger, we might get some interesting results.  The party might have to deal with some unruly candidates who don’t play by the rules.  They might decide that it would be better to work harder and do the recruiting themselves.

Against My Principles?

When a co-worker reported that she was getting together a pool to play Powerball this week, because the jackpot was particularly high, I said no, like I always do.  I have never bought a lottery ticket in my life, and my gambling never goes beyond the occasional contribution to a 50/50 for a good cause.  Heck, I took a trip to Vegas last year, and I didn’t gamble a dime.

I really don’t give a rip about the $99,800,000, before taxes, which, when divided up, amounts to $5.3 million per person after taxes.  I am convinced that that amount of money, by itself, wouldn’t add to my happiness.  And if I did the math I am sure that I would discover that even at that number, the odds would still be in the government’s favor.

But then I realized that if they did win, work could become a really lonely place.  20 or so co-workers, gone like yesterday.  And then 10 people’s work would, within a few weeks, be all piled on me.  [I exaggerate slightly.]

Suddenly, the $2.00 contribution to the lottery seemed a lot less like gambling, and a lot more like some form of sanity insurance…

My Second Job

I have not written much here lately, because life has been very busy.

With a daughter starting college in the fall (at Grove City, yay!), and the economy being in the shape it’s in, I thought it would be good to “diversify my income sources.”  I pondered a few ways to do that, but quickly settled on teaching basic electronics at nights.  There is a local technical school that I have worked with at my day job for years, and they were looking for a part-time electronics instructor, so they were happy to have me work for them. 

My students are mostly adults returning to school, and most are taking a course to become Biomedical Technicians.  They will be calibrating, maintaining, and repairing medical equipment.  [You had better hope that I teach them well; badly calibrated medical equipment can cause a lot of worries.]   The others in the group are taking a more general Electronic Technician program.  

My biggest difficulty in teaching these classes is that I have worked in the electronics industry for so long that I assume that there are some things that “everyone knows,” when actually these things need to be taught.  For example, I have used scientific notation since tenth grade, and I initially thought that everyone would remember how to work with scientific notation.  Of course, most people don’t need to use it, so they forgot after a few years.  Using laboratory equipment is also something most people stopped doing in 10th grade, or possibly in their first year of college, so I have to teach it as a new thing.