Yes, that was a lame pun. No, I am not apologizing.
Osama bin Laden’s latest video is not particularly newsworthy. Aside from the call for Americans to convert to Islam, it could have been written by the loony left of the Democratic Party. (He even mentioned Global Warming.) Oh, yes, and unlike Democrats, Osama promises that if we all convert to Islam, there will be no taxes.
The most noteworthy thing about Osama bin Laden’s new video is that he has apparently had a mid-life crisis and dyed his beard black. Perhaps John Edwards’ hairdresser could lure him out of hiding by offering him regular beard perms with highlights (a $1200 value, guaranteed to make him more attractive to the ladies) or perhaps, if he is frugal enough, he could simply be lured out by some Lady Clairol coupons.
In other related news from the religion of peace, a cell of German terrorists were caught shortly after they bought over 1,500 pounds of hydrogen peroxide. They are accused of using this for bomb-making, but I think they were simply preparing in their own misguided way for the afterlife, by ensuring that the next 72,000 or so young ladies to await them in Paradise will be bleached blonde.