I have felt like writing something about the Eliot Spitzer situation, but without being too tasteless. It is really easy to write something tasteless about the whole affair; in fact, tasteless remarks almost write themselves, and must be fiercely resisted. I certainly don’t want to use it for Republican gloating.
So I’ll just keep it simple. For Eliot Spitzer, and anyone else who is tempted to do something incredibly stupid and expensive:
The next time you have an extra $4,300.00 to spend, and you are tempted to spend it in a foolish and self-destructive manner, JUST GIVE ME THE MONEY.
We are cheapskates around here, so $4300.00 would pay for about 5 romantic weekend getaways, and a modest family vacation. Jane and I promise that we will have more fun than you ever would.
In return, you will get to keep your job, your reputation, and your marriage. You can also get that warm fuzzy feeling that comes with doing a good deed, or, if you prefer something harder, you can hang on to that self-righteous feeling of superiority that drives many political leaders. I would even thank you publicly on my blog if you thought that wouldn’t ruin your reputation. Also, you could probably save a lot of money in the long run, because divorce lawyers are very expensive.
BTW, if you are an athlete considering starting a cocaine habit, or maybe taking up dog-fighting, this offer is for you too.