Sometimes a bargain isn’t really a bargain. We all know, for example, that if you are going off to fight a dragon, you do not want to get your sword and armor at Wal-Mart. Cheap armor can cost you an arm and a leg, and that’s if you’re lucky. You want one of those fancy swords that turns blue in the presence of Orcs, and you want the best armor that can be found, even if it was made by people who live underground and have wives with beards.
Here are a few more bargains that you should be very careful about:
1. TATTOOS 20% Off.
A local tattoo parlor had coupons for 20% of of your first tattoo. Now, I think that permanent tattoos are a pretty dumb idea anyhow. (With henna tattoos, there are no lifelong regrets.) Before you get one, you should ask yourself a few simple questions. Will I want this on my body when I am 70, and it is faded and I am wrinkled? Will my future fiance’s father/future boss think this is as cool as I think it is right now? Questions like these are a great preventative to youthful stupidity.
But taking 20% off of a tattoo can be really bad. For example, suppose you are a guy and you want a tattoo that says:
I LOVE DONNA
If you take 20 % off, it will say:
I LOVE DON
This will be sending the wrong message and get you into all sorts of trouble.
2. NO FAULT DIVORCE – $195.00
In a certain part of the classifieds, located ironically near the parents seeking to adopt and people thanking a saint for an answer to prayer. you will see attorneys offering their services. They seem to be having a reverse auction when it comes to divorces. But how can a divorce be a bargain, even at $195.00?
And who would want a divorce if there was no fault involved? In a highly scientific survey, 82% of divorcees said that the other spouse was primarily to blame for the divorce. So it looks like there’s usually plenty of blame to go around.
A divorce is rather like an amputation. If you really need a divorce, you should pick your lawyer with about the same care as you would pick a surgeon.
3. TEEN CLOTHING – 50% OFF
One of the department stores had the following ad for young ladies’ apparel, at 50% off.
Judging from the pictures, they weren’t kidding.