Sacred Cow Cola and Skittles Vodka

If the newspaper headlines are driving you to drink, here is some news you can use:

1.  You may have heard it said that “sacred cows make the best hamburger,” but some Indians got the idea that sacred cow urine can be made into cola.

INDIA MAKES COLA FROM COW URINE

To millions of devout Hindus, it’s the real thing: a cola made from the urine of India’s sacred cows.

 The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh, India’s leading Hindu cultural group, has developed Gau Jal or Cow Water, at its research centre in the Indian holy city of Haridwar on the River Ganges, and hopes it will be marketed as a ‘healthy’ alternative to Coke and Pepsi.

Hindus worship cows for their life-sustaining dairy products, but many also consume bovine urine and faeces in drinks and spice mixes for their “health-giving” properties.

In some Indian states, cow dung and urine are sold in regular dairy shops alongside milk and yogurt, and “ayurvedic” Indian health food companies make porridge, toothpaste and tonic drinks which claim to cure ailments ranging from liver complaints to diabetes and cancer. The urine is also believed to have disinfectant properties while the dung is used in many Indian village huts as a clean and antiseptic flooring.

Now, the RSS’s Cow Protection Department has invented a new urine-based soft drink it hopes will promote its health-giving properties to a wider market. “We refer to gau ark (cow urine) as gau jal (cow water) as it has immense potential to cure various diseases. We have developed a soft drink formula with gau jal as the base and it has been sent to a laboratory at Lucknow for testing,” said director Om Prakash.

His team is now focusing on packaging, marketing, and of course preservation to stop its curative drink from going whiffy in the summer heat. 

“It will be a revolution of sorts. The acceptance of cow urine as a potent medicine is increasing day by day and once it comes as a cold drink, its demand will definitely increase. It will prove and justify the high stature accorded to a cow in Indian culture.” he added.

I’d rather have a V-8, thank you.

2.  This drink is more up my alley, even though I haven’t had vodka in any form for about 5 years.  I always sort my Skittles before I eat them, in the order of the color spectrum:  Green, Yellow, Orange,  Red, Purple.  I’m not compulsive about it or anything.

Here is a link that explains how to make Skittles Vodka.

SKITTLES VODKA TUTORIAL

3.  For the disgruntled Republicans of 1997, Judge Robert Bork recommended the “judicious use of alcohol,”  and went on to explain why the martini was the only proper drink to take the edge off of one’s political sorrows, and how to make a proper martini.  This recipe has been brought back for use (in moderation) by Republicans in 2009.

JUDGE BORK AND MARTINIS

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3 thoughts on “Sacred Cow Cola and Skittles Vodka

  1. Yes, perhaps that belongs in the category of “random weirdness.” It definitely proves that the rest of the world can be a very strange place.

  2. I rather eat cow meat and get all the benefits. Recently coach of indian rugby team advised the urine drinkibg vegie players to have 7 meals a day and eat 12 eggs a day to improve their health

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