The…World’s…Slowest…Computer

My blog stats for the year came in, and my publishing record has been quite lame.  It is not because there is nothing to write about.  It is not for lack of ideas.  It is not even because of a lack of time.

No, the main reason that I haven’t been writing much is that I have … the… worlds… slowest… computer.

Don’t cry for me.  The computer is about 10 years old, and it just isn’t up to loading all the widgets and gizmos that are on a modern website.

How bad is it?  A typical session at the computer might go like this…

Login to Facebook.

[While page is loading, de-junk the computer desk.]

Read stuff.  Hey, someone linked to an article I want to read.  Click on the article.

[Go make the bed. Put laundry away too, while the page is loading.]

Go look at a news site.  Click on it.

[Didn’t the Mrs. want me to change a light bulb?  I bet I can do that while the page loads.]

Click on an article on the news site.

[While it is loading, go repair the dryer.]

Go to chess.com.

[While it is loading, change the oil in the car.  Solve Fermat’s last Theorem too.]

Make my moves.

[Between each move, do those stretching exercises the doctor told me I should do.]

Log off, because it is time for bed.

The good news is that a new computer is on the way.  Then this dinosaur  be relegated to word processing, some old games, and perhaps some other software that will be too old to run on the new computer.

But sometimes it is not all bad to have… The … World’s … Slowest… Computer…

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One thought on “The…World’s…Slowest…Computer

  1. The World’s…Slowest…Computer is now feeling sad and lonely because it’s been replaced by two faster ones, that, while they don’t let you be amazingly productive between page loads, are rather more efficient in other ways. Somehow I can’t find it in my heart to be all that broken up about it, though.

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