Yes, another one of my wonderful children has just turned 16. Susan, being the kind of daughter that she is, had studied for her learner’s permit test for the last two months, and she arranged to take the test on her 16th birthday. Naturally, she passed. The only question she got wrong was the one that asked “how much sleep does a teenager need each night?” In case you are wondering, the answer is 8, and sleeping in class does not count toward the total.
We are short on cars in this household, so now I have to think of what kind of car I want for Susan’s training and eventual long-term use.
From looking at her, you might think that she wants one of these:
It is small, cute, and pink, and it will be easy to parallel park. But her inner princess is in hiding, and a little vehicle like isn’t safe enough for my daughter. Besides, I am NOT getting into the passenger seat of that Barbie-mobile to teach her how to drive a stick shift. So then I thought she should drive something that has lots of protective metal on it, and that will command respect from the other drivers. Like this:
Of course, parallel parking this beast will be difficult, the gas mileage will be awful, and the artillery piece (or perhaps rocket launcher?) on top might not be street legal except maybe in Texas and Idaho, but those are minor details. However, a machine like this has its own not so hidden dangers. Like, it will seriously impress the boys.
So, being the practical person that I am, I came up with the perfect solution. Vehicles of this type are usually very well maintained, so one of these should be reliable, even if I buy it used. It is big and safe, and people who drive past it tend to slow down, because it reminds them that they are but dust, and to dust they shall return:
This also has the added benefit of having lots of storage space for when she goes away to college and has to take stuff with her. Of course, the vehicle she gets will be used, and black is an impractical color because of the heat, so maybe this slightly older model is more suitable:
I have mentioned these plans to my daughter, and she does not approve. My wife doesn’t take me seriously either. I wonder why?