When Thor was a Woman

I hear rumors that Marvel Comics is making Thor into a girl.  Details are scarce, but apparently, all of Thor’s powers are contained in Thor’s hammer.  If you pick up the hammer and are worthy, you become Thor.  And that masculine pronoun (“HE who is worthy…”) inscribed on the hammer?  Well, that is just the way people talked in the dark days before feminists starting trying to neutralize the language.

I polled my kids on the subject, and they are in agreement that this is just wrong.  We don’t have a problem with women wielding hammers, but Thor is a dude.  Besides, a change like this, if it moves from the comic books into the movies, could deprive Chris Hemsworth of several million dollars, and I shudder to think of where it leaves Natalie Portman.

But, as I tell my kids, when I was their age, Thor did engage in a bit of gender bending.  Here is something he did that found its way into  Bullfinch’s Mythology:

Once upon a time it happened that Thor’s hammer fell into the possession of the giant Thrym, who buried it eight fathoms deep under the rocks of Jotunheim.  Thor sent Loki to negotiate with Thrym, but he could only prevail so far as to get the giant’s promise to restore the weapon if Freya would consent to be his bride.  Loki returned and reported the result of his mission, but the goddess of love was quite horrified at the idea of bestowing her charms on the king of the Frost giants.

In this emergency Loki persuaded Thor to dress himself in Freya’s clothes and accompany him to Jotunheim.  Thrym received his veiled bride with due courtesy, but was greatly surprised at seeing her eat for her supper eight salmons and a full grown ox, besides other delicacies, washing the whole down with three tuns of mead.  Loki, however, assured him that she had not tasted anything for eight long nights, so great was her desire to see her lover, the renowned ruler of Jotunheim.  Thrym had at length the curiosity to peep under his bride’s veil, but started back in affright and demanded why Freya’s eyeballs glistened with fire.   Loki repeated the same excuse and the giant was satisfied.  He ordered the hammer to be brought in and laid on the maiden’s lap.  Thereupon Thor threw off his disguise, grasped his redoubted weapon, and slaughtered Thrym and all his followers.

I doubt that you could make this story into a 2 hour movie, but it could be entertaining, and Loki would have a chance to be the “good guy.”

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3 thoughts on “When Thor was a Woman

  1. I’m thinking it could deprive Chris Hemsworth of a lot more than money, if ya catch my drift. And Natalie’s part of it….remember the hilarious bit Rush did a while back about the San Francisco city worker suing the city for her operation and Rush’s name for it? I thought Hollyweird was brutal in the diets they required of actors and such, but this….

    ….but I do think we could “shaggy dog” Bulfinch’s version into 100 minutes, and that would be fun.

    BTW, tried mead, and let’s just say I’ll ask for water when I visit you in your mead-hall.

  2. Bubba, I figured that Chris Hemsworth would seek other career opportunities rather than conform to the requirements of this new position. Any judge who was not based in San Francisco would agree that he was entitled to unemployment benefits if he found it impossible to go along with the employers’ demands.

    I didn’t hear Rush’s comments about “the operation”, but some Googling gives me the idea of what the operation might be called. I won’t print it here for fear of corrupting my sensitive younger readership.

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