A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi were hiking together in the woods, when they saw a big bear.
The priest, who was a competitive sort, boasted, “I bet I can lead that bear to the one true Church, and get him to join my parish.”
The pastor, who was a Baptist keen on fulfilling the Great Commission, responded, “No, I think I will get that bear to come to my church every Sunday.”
The rabbi could not be left out of this, and replied, “I think that I can convert that bear to the Jewish faith and bring him to my synagogue.”
They agreed that the Priest should go first, and that they would meet the next month.
The priest met them with a big smile. “I had great success. First I used some special incense, and that made him sleepy,” he reported. “Then me and a few ushers dragged him to the stream, and I baptized him. Then I gave him Communion. I hope at least to see him at Christmas and Easter.”
The pastor congratulated him, but asked for his turn with the bear. A month later, he came back, beaming. “Well, Cousin Elmer shot him with a tranquilizer dart, put him in his pickup, and brought the bear to our church picnic. When he woke up he ate a bucket of Sister Mabel’s fried chicken and all of Aunt Betty’s casserole. Then he ate the jello salad and drank about a gallon of our sweet tea. Me and Deacons Bubba and Billy Bob took him down to the deepest part of the stream and baptized him by full immersion, and now he comes back every Sunday for our pot lucks. He even comes to our Men’s prayer breakfasts, though he does more bacon eating than praying.”
The rabbi did not think he could beat this. For one thing, he did not imagine how to get the bear to give up bacon. But he asked for a month to try.
The next week, the Rabbi’s wife called the priest and pastor. “Come to the hospital quickly, your friend is badly injured.” They went, and found him with broken bones, bite marks, and scratches all over his body. “What happened?” they asked the poor rabbi.
“Well, I found the bear, and I gave him a bagel with lox on it, and I started chanting a Psalm in Hebrew. I thought I was doing well,” he said. “And then things went horribly wrong.”
“I never should have tried to circumcise that bear.”
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